The Importance of being your own Best Friend

the importance of being your own best friend

If I were to ask who the most important person is in your life, you would probably tell me about a treasured family member, or your best friend.

While it’s always wonderful to think about our loved ones, did you know that in reality, the most important relationship you can have in life is the one you have with yourself?

Think about the vast amount of time you spend in your own company. You wake up with yourself, you spend the day with yourself, and you go to bed with yourself. Whether or not you speak out loud, you will have more chats with yourself than with anybody else.

So it goes to follow that the most important opinion in your life is your own. This is fine, as long as you like yourself. If you don’t, you can probably imagine that the results can be very destructive.

Your mind has no choice but to believe what you tell it. So if you think you’ve done a bad job, or that you are not good enough, that’s what you will ultimately believe – regardless of how much praise you might receive from others! The positive opinions of your boss, your friends or your partner, no matter how important they are to you, will not override your own negative one.

The solution, therefore, is for you to tell your mind positive things, like any best friend would!

It makes sense to try to avoid thoughts that weaken us, when we consider that our own thoughts are the source of everything that goes on in our lives. Believe that life is worth living, and your thoughts will help make that belief an everyday reality. Alternatively, acting as your own worst critic is guaranteed to make you feel unhappy.

Does it sound strange, that you could be the person who makes your own life miserable? If so, take heart in knowing that it’s not at all logical! We are emotional beings whose personalities are created in our formative years, usually from birth to age ten.   If you experienced a trauma or tragedy after this age, then this will create additional programming.

As young children, we learn from our personal reality just as a sponge soaks up water. The things we see, hear and experience all combine to make us who we are, when in fact we haven’t been on the planet for very long at all. We hold on to the opinions and beliefs we form about our capability and our value, and we accept them as our personal truth.

So you may be able to imagine that if you were unfortunate enough to have parents or teachers who made you feel worthless, it would become familiar for you to create negative beliefs, such as not being able to connect with others, that you are stupid or not worthy of a better life.

These beliefs continue into adulthood, even if you have changed dramatically, because your mind is running an unconscious ‘program’ of memorised emotions that is all it knows. Unless you update your personal programming, you will remain stuck in the past!

You can update your personal programming by becoming more aware of your negative beliefs, and then making an active choice to stop them – something that Rapid Transformational Therapy easily enables you to do.

You may believe that becoming your own best friend, and praising yourself every day, sounds a little egotistical! However, valuing and respecting yourself is not egotistical. Reminding yourself of your unique talents, telling yourself that you are lovable, valuable and that you can achieve your goals, is only truly egotistical if you believe you and your talents are better than anyone else’s.   This is not the intention of self-praise.

If you still need convincing, think about what might happen if your best friend, or a much-loved family member, spoke to you in a negative and diminishing way. I very much hope you would quickly get rid of them! Yet I meet a great deal of people who are that negative “friend” to themselves.

With Rapid Transformational Therapy, change is available to you. Together, we will help you understand your unconscious programming, and create new, improved inner dialogue that will transform the quality of your thoughts…for good!

bertie

1 Comment

  1. Ilka on 2nd February 2018 at 4:34 am

    Beautiful article, Bertie! Thank you

Leave a Comment